Funny SMS Collections-1

• A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son! Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!

• You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

• Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do? A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

• God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

• I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I lauf again

• The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

• I've written a poem for you: Twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are, and once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far.

• What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

• Banta: How does an attorney sleep? Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

• Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them. • I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom? • A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun? • Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl's father must have his own bar...CHEERS • Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen. • Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE? Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna. • Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho! Premika: Dhokla. • Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U. • Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top. • Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend. • Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS. • The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours. • When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free. • Look at the world around u; u’ll see God's creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God's providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God's sense of humor. • Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from! • Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids. • Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara? Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha. • Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho? Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain. • A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl? Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep. • Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain. • Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together. Who? Ur bums. • Osama to Big B: How are you?? Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you? Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum. • Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's wonder! Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder! • Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus? A: A Moti-vaiting.