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Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A. So he could have sweet dreams.
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Q. Why did the robber take a bath?
A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
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Q. What did the judge say to the dentist?
A. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
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Q. What do you call a bear with no socks on?
A. Bare-foot.
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Q. What can you serve but never eat?
A. A volleyball.
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Q. What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?
A. No thank you, I am stuffed.
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Q. What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A. Sneakers.
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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?
A. I'll meet you at the corner.
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Q. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A. So he could tie the score.
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Q. Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
A. They both depend on the batter.
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Q. What did the alien say to the garden?
A. Take me to your weeder.
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Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Q. How do baseball players stay cool?
A. Sit next to their fans.
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Q. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A. A towel.
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Q. Why was the math book sad?
A. Because it had too many problems.
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Q. What runs but doesn't get anywhere?
A. A refrigerator.
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A. Climb a tree and act like a nut!
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Q. What do you do with a blue whale?
A. Try to cheer him up!
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Q. How do you communicate with a fish?
A. Drop him a line!
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Q. Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A. To the Baa Baa shop!
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Q. What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish!
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Q. Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?
A. Because he had a big bill!
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Q. What do cats eat for breakfast?
A. Mice Crispies!
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Q. What kind of dog tells time?
A. A watch dog!
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Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!
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Q. What do you give a dog with a fever?
A. Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
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Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A. A sour puss!
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Q. Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A. Its easier than walking!
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Q. What kind of key opens a banana?
A. A monkey!
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Q. How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
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Q. Why does a hummingbird hum?
A. It doesn't know the words!
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Q. Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A. Because they dropped out of school!
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Q. What goes up and down but doesn't move?
A. The temperature!
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Q. What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?
A. Today and Tomorrow!
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Q. Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A. Neither, they both weigh a ton!
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Q. What has four eyes but can't see?
A. Mississippi!
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A. A guy named woody.
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Q. What has one horn and gives milk
A. A milk truck.
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Q. Where do bulls get their messages
A. On a bull-etin board.
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Q. What do bulls do when they go shopping?
A. They CHARGE!
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Q. Why were the giant's fingers only eleven inches long?
A. Because if they were twelve inches long, they'd be a foot.
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Q. What is invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny Farts!
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Q. What runs but can't walk?
A. The faucet!
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Q. What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in?
A. A water bed!
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Q. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A. Firecrackers!
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Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
A. No thanks, I'm stuffed!
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Q. Why did the barber win the race?
A. Because he took a short cut.
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Q. What's taken before you get it?
A. Your picture.
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Q. Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A. To get a root canal.
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Q. Why did the child study in the airplane?
A. He wanted a higher education!
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Q. Why was the broom late?
A. It over swept!
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Q. What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
A. A ladder in her stocking!
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Q. What did one virus say to another?
A. Stay away, I think I've got penicillin!
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Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
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Q. What pet makes the loudest noise?
A. A trum-pet!
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Q. What is a tornado?
A. Mother nature doing the twist!
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A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
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Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
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Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
A. Because he wanted to work over-time!
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Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A. Because he wanted to see time fly!
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Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?
A. Jell-o!
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Q. When do you stop at green and go at red?
A. When you're eating a watermelon!
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Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?
A. With cabbage patches!
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Q. Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A. Because it makes you break out!
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Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?
A. Mockaroni!
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Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
A. He has a lot of ketchup time!
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Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He couldn't concentrate!
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Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?
A. Tomato Paste!
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Q. Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A. Because his parents were in a jam!
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Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty!
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Q. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg!
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Q. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A. A turkey!
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Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A. A stomach-cake!
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Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A. He felt crummy!
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Q. When does a cart come before a horse?
A. In the dictionary!
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Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils!
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